Saturday, July 11, 2009

New Contributor


I am a new contributor to this blog about being an HIV negative spouse.

As of right now, I am an HIV negative "girlfriend".... Our wedding date is October 2nd .... LOL

I'm going to make this first post very brief, as I have not yet decided on my first topic. If you're anything like me, there's a whole roller coaster of emotions to encounter each day. Our thoughts and fears can hold us hostage at times and then other times we are just like everyone else - paying bills, caring for our homes and families, working hard and enjoying life. Our "magnetic" relationship is possibly the most fulfilling one we've had thus far, so staying emotionally sane has become paramount!

If you are a veteran HIV negative spouse, I give you huge kudos and a heartfelt "thank you" for persevering. I hope to be YOU someday!

If you're new here, PLEASE stay connected. A lot of times your very emotional survival will depend on others in the same situation. It can be very lonely sometimes, but getting your feelings out in the "open" yet safe environment here can empower and reassure you.

Hope this finds you all enjoying your summer months!


Anonymous said...

Bless you for starting this. Hopefully, more of us will find you. My husband tested positive when we were engaged. We've been married for 4 years. I wouldn't change that for the world. We have a great marriage. There have been many challenges. HIV affects mental health psychologically and systemically. If there is an underlying problem, HIV exacerbates it. There are many things I know now that I didn't know when he first tested positive. At first, I had a good job, he was just starting to battle fatigue and some depression. My job, some personal things for me, and doctor's appointments were too much. Also, HIV meds were not covered by my insurance and I would have made too much for him to get help. Made a choice to quit work - took on temp jobs, etc. It is difficult to explain these decisions to people who don't know what is going on. That part has been hard on me. My husband has, over the years, had all sorts of complications and we currently see a doctor 2 to 3 times a week (it will slow down again, soon! yeah!) As we are older, but not seniors, we are running into road blocks for all sorts of things - combined income (I have to keep mine low), explaining this to Job & Family Services - not always the most educated folks on the block, getting help - medicaid counts my income against my husband, social security - finally had a hearing after 3 years and waiting now for determination, etc. You have to be strong and you can be because you have someone you love and who loves you. It is all worth it. It would be fabulous if the agencies we deal with would understand what stressors the put on us. I wonder if my health is in danger (not from HIV, but from stress) from dealing with these people. Wow, this feels good to vent.

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering how your wedding went. I too found out about my husband's diagnosis before we got married. I wouldn't do a thing differently. We had a beautiful wedding and have a wonderful life.
Best of luck to you both!

Anonymous said...

I just found out my husbands diagnoises two months ago. Also found out he was living on the downlow. Since we started dating in 2002. Been married since 2008. He cheated on me with a co worker. For months after being married. I was tested neg. Thank god. But to be honest. His status is killing me inside. This once perfect man to me. Has betrayed me, he's on medicines. I am afraid to kiss or ha e sex with him. But yet in still I am still in love with him. His actions has destroyed our marriage. I feel very alone

Anonymous said...

I am literally in tears that I have finally found a page that I can relate to! My fiancee was recently diagnosed with AIDS. How we found out? He collapsed and hospitalized with fungal meningitis, MRSA, and a few other complication. Nothing but a miracle that he is still alive and we are getting married next weekend! I have so many questions and concerns, but the fact that I just stumbled upon this page while trying to research how this disease will affect family planning, is a blessing! Thank you for starting this blog!