Thursday, October 1, 2015

Lots of Changes

My husband and I have made the difficult decision to move across the country from San Francisco to Chicago. We feel it will be best for our daughter to be near other family members, and I look forward to having my family's support around me. We are scared, but confident this is the right decision for us.

We are concerned about my husband maintaing some type of healthcare. He can't miss doses of his medication, but we will have a lapse in insurance coverage so I think we'll find ourselves in the position many people find themselves in...needing access to healthcare at a reasonable cost.

We are also concerned about encountering ignorance and prejudice due to our HIV affected family dynamic. I don't think we'll tell many about my husband's condition, but I can foresee inwardly cringing when people make inappropriate comments about HIV, such as this sign on a condom dispensing machine in Chicago.

I mean, first of all, no one transmits AIDS...its HIV which progresses to become AIDS if left untreated. And, no, the best method of AIDS prevention is not abstinence before marriage nor is it a monogamous relationship during marriage. This is such a patronizing and ignorant statement.

My mom and dad are thrilled that we'll be closer to them, but I worry about how uneducated they are about things related to HIV and treatment. My husband has psoriasis, and I can see them thinking that his irritated skin patches are the beginnings of Kaposi's Sarcoma. I know they will say things, with ignorant sincerity, that will be hurtful. And I want to react with love, compassion, wisdom, and grace...for my daughter's sake. I hope I'm up to this task of bringing their 1980's AIDS mentality into this age of treatment as prevention, and educating them about all the medical advances and knowledge that is available to us today.

In the meantime, I'll be ovulating next week, so who knows....maybe I'll get pregnant!

Lots of changes coming our way, I'm grateful for all of you who wish us well, and have been part of this journey.


ชุดตรวจเอชไอวี said...

its called using THIN RUBBERS at least , they feel great u get use to it

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your honesty and compassion. I come to your blog periodically because it helps me to know that there is someone else navigating the same seas as myself :)

Anonymous said...

Please never stop blogging about this very important topic. My spouse was diagnosed a year & a half ago and it was devastating to the both of us. Though he's been undetectable since starting his medication and we're coping much better as a serodiscordant couple, we both still have moments of worry & sorrow. His condition is our secret. I've never talked to anyone about it until typing this to you. Thank you for providing an outlet and for giving me hope to become a mommy of a beautiful healthy baby soon. We want to get pregnant in 2016. It's heartbreaking that folks remain so ignorant about HIV yet the numbers in the U.S. alone are ever-increasing. People still believe that heterosexual men cannot contract hiv from positive women. Well, mine did before we met. I'm so thankful that I'm not hiv+ considering we rarely ever used condoms. Life certainly has led me on a journey of teachings from unconditional love to newfound levels on strength. Never did I ever think this would be my life... loving an hiv+ man. Never say never. Best wishes to you and your family on your move to Chicagoland and good luck on getting pregnant if you aren't just yet. Happy holidays!!!